Fragile Little Thing

Life is such a fragile little thing.

One moment, you think you have it all figured out. Planning to make big moves and planning for that glorious future. But all within a blink of an eye, it all changes. It all tumbles down all the way back to your foundation. Where all is left is nothing but rubble.

Within the last month, I've gone through some major life changes. As many likely don't know, my long term relationship ended a month ago. Five and a half years of loving and living life together, all gone in the blink of an eye. I won't get into the fine details, because frankly its nobodies business but my own, but I can confidently say that this major life change has catapulted me into this new and improved version of myself. If you were to tell me last year only what has happened in the first five months alone of 2025, I would be reeling. Something I was so confident in lasting forever is suddenly gone? I would've told you that I would've lost myself and crumbled so hard I wouldn't have been able to recover from such a blow.

But I think the thing I have learned the most in this past month is that I am the new priority. The funny thing is, is that I always was the priority. I just never allowed myself to be that priority. Past Sarah has always bent to others' will, making sure they are happy before I am. Current Sarah now looks at others as an addition to my life, and anyone who doesn't either bring me happiness or peace is no longer welcome. I have learned to surround myself with loving people and kind hearts. And let me tell you, I have been truly feeling the effects of this action. One thing I told myself after the breakup was that I was not going to mope around and be sad, isolating myself from the world I'm surrounded by. If someone was to ask me to hangout, go out for lunch, or anything that will make me either leave my house or make happy memories, I will push myself to do it. Because that is what life is all about. Finding peace and happiness in those around you and also within yourself. And that is something I have learned and ever so cherish.

My support group that I am surrounded with, both friends and family, have shown an immense amount of love and support during this change in my life. Makes me so incredibly grateful that I know such amazing and beautiful people, both inside and out.

Because I am a writer, and heal through my writing, I have already gotten started on book number three. And you'll never guess what it's about. . .

I've also been a strong beliver that the universe always has a plan for you. That everything is going to work itself out for the better. Whether it is with or without someone. If someone is destined to be in your life, they'll find a way to be there. If someone is just meant to be a lesson, you'll learn your lesson and move on to something better. Even when the world has knocked you down all the way back to your foundation, I promise you it is done with purpose. Things happen for a reason. If you can't see the reason now, you'll see it one day. And that is something I am trying to learn and accept every day.

I've also found it very fascinating on the fact that you really do get another perspective and another point of view when you leave something as big as a long term relationship. You begin to get clarity and see things in such a different light. See and notice the things they said or did in the past, or maybe even the things they never said or didn't do. All the things that maybe your subconscious hide from you or things that stayed in the shadows suddenly come to light. I see that we were once very compatible. But life pulled us apart. We started growing in different directions, and that kind of force is hard to stop or slow down.

I have learned about what kid of a lover I am, and also the kind of love that I want next: Love me loudly, show me off, buy me flowers just because, tell me I look beautiful even when I just wake up, post me on your social media, buy my favourite snack or drink on your way home because you thought of me, open doors for me, take me on dates I don't have to plan, but most importantly, love me so much that the world will look at us and say, "Wow, I want the kind of love they have".

That is what I want. And I have learned all of those things is something I will never settle on.

I've always been the kind of person who will figure it out. Life happens and nobody ever says they need to worry about me. I'm strong, I can live alone, I'm smart with my money, I really do look like I have it all figured out. At least, to the outsiders eyes I do. But it's all still true, even from my eyes. I will figure it out, and I have been. There has never been a set back in my life that I have never worked through. Hell, I've lost everything in a house fire ten years ago and I was able to figure that out. Took a while, but I did. I went through numerous breakups and had a poor mental health for many years, but I am still here. Still strong. If anything, this sudden frontal lobe/quarter life crisis simply amplified my strength and confidence to a whole new level. I now ooze this newfound confidence and I know this confidence will bring all more good things into my life.

Endings aren't the worst thing that can happen to you. At one point in my life, I really did think that endings are the worst thing that can happen to someone. But as that cliche quote goes, "when one door closes, another one opens". Endings are truly just disguised as new beginnings, and I am feeling optimistic on where my life is heading. Dare I say it, I'm almost excited for the new adventures and growth I will experience in the future. Getting knocked down to your foundation will allow you to rebuild into something stronger, something you never thought you could do.

If you reading this are also going through a major life change, or just want some motivation to get you through your days, know that you need to greet change at the door with a smile. Welcome them in because change will come in whether you want it to or not. You have to make room for change because if you don't, you won't like its company. Let change in and make peace with this new beginning. Because life is simply just a fragile little thing.

-S. Cowan