What The First 60 Days of 2025 Has Taught Me.

You know, I always assumed that reaching the age of twenty-five, I was bound to reach a quarter life crisis in my life. Did I expect that crisis to come early? Absolutely not. But within these last 60 days, I have been feeling that frontal lobe develop agressively into something that I didn't even know was possible. There is so much that I wish I could tell the world right now, but I am still figuring things out. Since the middle of January I was shoved into changing the way I am and speak. Let's take it back to the beginning of January. Let me share with you what the first 60 days of 2025 has taught me.

Ringing in the new year with my boyfriend and some close friends was great. We laughed, played some games and drank until late hours of the night. Not a problem was in sight and it made me feel very optimistic that the rest of 2025 will go smoothly and I will continue to be happy. But then things took a turn. A sudden turn, may I add. There was a question was thrusted upon me, forcing me to reconsider what I want in life and give me the potential to uproot my entire life that I have built so far and welcome this new aspect of change. One of the aspects I'd have to do is move to a whole different area.

That's the thing, me personally, I feel like I am the worst with change. So when this proposal was put in front of me, I didn't know what to do. I panicked at the start to say the least. The thought of uprooting my life, having to change my addresses, sell or pack up different things for me to move, quit a job I love to find another one, and leave where I'm at to find something brand new. To me, that sounds like the definition of overstimulating, especially for someone who isn't the greatest with change.

I was listening to a podcast the other day, The Mel Robbins Podcast, and I found myself listening to her episode about things she wished she knew when she was in her 20s. Highly recommend checking out her podcast and even checking out her most recent book, "The Let Them Theory". Also a phenomenal book.

This New York Times Best Selling Author, Mel Robbins, has been such an influence and a beam of light during my hard times right now. But that podcast episode, right towards the bitter end, discussed the importance of taking the biggest risks that you can and she discussed the idea of going big for everything you do. She even discussed the aspect of making the choice of moving to a new place. The day I was listening to this is was when I was having a bit of a rough day and was very anxoious about the thought of moving. And listening to this podcast episode literally shook me to my core. It was like the universe was speaking to me. When I tell you that as I was listening to this episode, I had the biggest chills I have ever had, it was insane. My goosebumps had goosebumps. I'm even getting my goosebumps back again as I am writing this. She proceeded to discuss the fact that when someone is in their 20s, it is the best time to take risks and take the chances to move to different places. Because when it boils down to the concept of moving, you can always move back and that you can make a new life anywhere. Mel Robbins discussed how moving can help you grow into the person you are meant to become.

And all of that is beyond true. Yes, I can most defintely move, try it out and just move back if I am unhappy. I can feel in my heart and soul that if I move, I will likely adapt to the change and I will be the happiest I can ever be. It is a risk and a sacrifice that I am feeling pulled to make. But me often going from, "I'm moving" to "Maybe I shouldn't go", is just me getting cold feet and getting anxious about the possibility of what could go wrong or just change in general. Change is scary. Absolutely it is. But I keep telling myself that my future self will thank me for going. I would rather me moving to be a thing of I learned from it rather than a "what if I did it". And though I will be leaving my friends, family and my life I spent seven years to build behind, there is something pulling me to go. Like a magnet deep in my chest, pulling my heart to where I should go. That's the only way I feel like I can describe it. I'm also normalizing the emotions I have been going through. It is mentally healthy to feel anxious right before a major life change. It is mentally healthy to be scared to say yes and make that move and life adjustment. Everything that I am feeling is very much normal, and I have been doing my best to be very gracious with myself and allow myself to take my time in both coming to my decision and deciding on the day to move.

This proposal of moving and changing my life has also made me realize that though I have been a people pleaser all my life, this has forced me to stop and take the time to really consider what I want. To think through what would make me happy and ensure that I base my decision on what makes me happy, not what would make someone else happy. It's been another reason why I have been taking this change so incredibly deeply. This kind of question posed to me has changed my mentality and changed how I operate, believe it or not.

That's the other thing too. Though I can try to explain my life and thoughts away to my friends, family or even coworkers, they will never understand my genuine thoughts, experiences or why I think the way I do. I know they will still love and respect me for whatever decision I make, but I can only explain to them what I can. I can't put into words how everything in my head has shifted and how I been feeling myself evolve into this higher version of myself and how I view my life and relationship in a different light since that day. Everyone around me just needs to let me live my life how I think it will make me happy and they need to trust that I (mostly) know what I am doing and all I ask for is support and love. And it didn't start out that way, but with time my people around me have begun to also think the way I do. By supporting me, and always standing in my corner. Even in moments of change. And that support system alone has been such a relief. Gives me reassurance that I am not alone and that I am being watched out for, even if I am a little bit of a drive away.

I am not in any sort of rush to move, but I am moving slower than molasses and allowing the universe to guide my way. Letting me take my time and let me make my decision at my pace, not anybody else's.

Not only in regards to the whole proposal of changing my life this year, I also have already gone to one rave, booked a weekend off to go see a family member in another province and booked a week long vacation solely for relaxation. If you couldn't tell by those three alone, I'm already nailing this adulting thing! This year has been filled with me prioritizing myself and never forgetting that I come first in every situation. I have even gotten into therapy and my new therapist I started with the other week has been an absolute delight. Just another thing that is going to elevate my mental health and help me prioritize me. I may or may not have booked the week long vacation in the midst of the beginning of my crisis. But its fine! I really do want to go anyway. I will thank myself for this trip I am going on and I will take the time to find peace, relaxation and calmness amongst the mountains I'll be surrounded by..

Everything in this universe happens for a reason and lately I feel like I have been feeling that so deep in my soul that it rattles my bones. Even though with how 2025 started I thought the world was coming to an end, little did I know, it was all just beginning. This year is going to be filled with a million different adventures that I will love and benefit from. From traveling, self-care/self-help, spending time with friends and family, hopefully publishing my next book this year, investing in my own hobbies and doing things in my life that make me happy, and by time 2025 wraps up and comes to an end, I'm sure I'll be finding a new life path and moving. Away from friends and family, but I trust that the universe has something big planned for me and this is only the start of something amazing.

Let this be a checkpoint for me to look back and see in years time how far I can go.

I'll see you on the other side.

S. Cowan